I ran my first 5K in 39:51 min. It was a personal goal to run under 40 minutes, so I’m very happy. Whoo!
When I got engaged, I thought, “Oh! How wonderful! I’ll be married AND I’ll have a lot to post about along the way!” Well, I didn’t think that right away, but you get my drift.
Turns out, that hasn’t been the case. I’ve been so busy with, well, life, that I haven’t been able to keep this blog up-to-date. I’m really sorry about that, those of you who still read here. I used to use this blog as a way of keeping up with people. What is my friend who works less than a mile from me thinking about today? Let’s not ask her, let’s just read her blog. I thought I was doing great with that set-up, being all in-the-know and whatnot. Then I realized that it was actually more fun to see my friends in the flesh. And isn’t that how you’re supposed to keep up with your friends?
And THEN I remembered that when I would try to post things that were utterly honest, I would fret over what others thought or said. The anxiety I felt over the post last March concerning my lack of religious faith affected me more than I’ve let on to most people. Why should I have felt that way? It’s my blog, my belief, my right to say what I want. But for some reason, the fact that others thought I had come to the decision lightly or hadn’t made the right choice didn’t roll of my back as easily as I would have liked. (I’ve come to more of a definite conclusion than I had then, but I still think I’m better off not posting about it anymore.)
It was at that exact moment that I started to think that maybe having a blog wasn’t for me. I don’t like arguments or confrontation. I worry about debating issues, because I lose my words in emotions. It doesn’t mean I don’t have a good reason for feeling the way I do, it just means I clam up when I try to express those reasons. From what I can see, successful bloggers don’t have this problem. Or they steer clear of hot button issues because they actually have a way of turning mundane life occurrences into great stories. I don’t really have that talent either.
Yesterday, I followed a link to Why I shut down my blog. And after I read it, I seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Because she put into words what I’ve been thinking about for almost a year. This blog has become a chore for me. Even now, as I’m writing, I’m putting off work. If I would have written this post last night, I would have been putting off dinner or sleeping. There isn’t a time anymore when I think that I’d really like to post something. Sure, there are random jokes or funny pictures, but honestly, I can just pass those along in an attempt to clog up my friends’ email accounts.
I guess the whole point of this post is to say that while I’m not giving up on blogging entirely, I’m saying goodbye for now. I’m busy, I’m tired, and I just don’t have the motivation for this anymore. I think my time would be better spent doing other things.
This, of course, doesn’t mean I won’t still be reading blogs. Oh, I will. Google Reader and I have a date every day. Several dates if I’m lucky. And I’ll try to keep this blog around just in case I get the inkling to post something. Keep me on your reader, if you’ve got one.
I’ve had fun doing this, and I hope you’ve had fun reading.
Last week I was tagged by The Adventures of Kate and Carson, and it’s taken me this long to pass it on.
The rules are:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules here
3. Share 7 random or weird facts about yourself
4. Tag 7 random people at the end of the post, linking to them.
5. Leave a comment on their blog so that they know they’ve been tagged.
– I don’t like Neil Young. I try, but I can’t. I’ve had this talk with a few people recently, so it’s fresh on my mind as a weird thing about me. Maybe it’s not so weird. Does anyone else out there not like him? (Of course, I mean his singing. He himself might be a great person, but I’ll never know.)
– Even though I grew up in the country, I can’t stand most bugs. The only bug I love is a pillbug, or a rolypoly, or whatever you may call it.
– I was bitten by a dog when I was young, and to this day I still have a fear of even playful animal biting.
– I’m currently trying to figure out which Astros tattoo I want. It will be a present to myself after I get married. I’ve been thinking about getting a tattoo for a while, but just couldn’t figure out what I’d want on my body for the rest of my life. Even if I stop following the Astros, I’ll always have the truly cherished memories of going to the Astrodome every summer when I was young.
– I used to be very picky about the source of the water I’d drink, but now I’ll take tap water without a second thought.
– Sometimes I wonder if I have a problem with depression because I surround myself with the color blue. (I’m only half-joking)
– I have a constant struggle with always wanting to get away, to travel, but at the same time wanting to go home to my own couch and not move for hours.
I’ve been tagged for a meme, but I’m going to save that for tomorrow. Mainly because I actually have some other stuff to write about, which honestly doesn’t happen much anymore.
I’m a little late on the bandwagon, but I need to publicly declare my love for the new Radiohead album, In Rainbows. I have several friends who don’t care for Radiohead. And while I try to be understanding of other people’s opinions, especially when it comes to music, I keep wanting to make them listen to this song, or that one, in the hopes that they’ll finally see what I see. Or hear what I hear, I guess. Anyway, the new album has become my best friend while I’ve been training for the 5K.
Oh yeah, something else. I’m training for a 5K. The Bun Run, to be exact. Here’s how that happened: I few weeks ago I was out sick for several days. On the day that I finally came back to work, I went in for a half day. Instead of going to Subway like I was planning, I decided to stop by Schlotzsky’s on my way in to work to grab a quick lunch. Along with the delicious food, I received a flyer asking me to vote for the 2008 Bun Run T-shirt. When you voted, you were automatically entered into a contest, the prize being a free entry into the race. Well lo and behold, I won an entry. I’m not religious, but figured this was as good a sign as any that I needed to buck up and do the 5K. I’d been talking about it ever since I started running, and I was already at the point where I could run a full 30 minutes. Now I’m up to 39 minutes for 3.14 miles, with my ultimate goal being 31 minutes. I’m not sure if that’s going to happen, but if I get down to 35 minutes, I’ll still be happy.
If you’ve never thought of yourself as a runner, I urge you to rethink. I never liked running, and figured it would forever be too hard to “learn” how to run. But my darling friend Pieces got me started on a running program again (this was the second time I was trying it) that was designed to help a person reach 30 minutes of running. I’m not exactly sure why it worked this time, but I suspect it had something to do with the fact that I’m going to be wearing a white dress in a few months. Regardless, I’ve grown to love running. I’m excited by the thought of how good I’m going to feel after I’ve gone to the gym, and I’ve finally figured out what people are feeling when they talk about a runner’s high.
I’ve started taking an anti-depressant for my PMDD. I don’t exactly remember the name of the drug (I’m awful about that stuff, and I’m at work so I can’t look at the bottle), but it’s basically generic Prozac, according to my doctor. I was diagnosed with PMDD eight years ago, when I entered junior college. Once I got a boyfriend I stopped taking the medicine because I thought, “Hey, I have a boyfriend now, everything will be great.” I was wrong. But I didn’t realize it was the PMDD. I guess I thought I was a bad girlfriend. Anyway, I’ve now realized that the anxiety and paranoia that plague me before my period can be helped. There’s no point in suffering if I don’t have to.
Since I started taking the medicine, I’ve been much calmer. More at peace, even. Sure, I still get mood swings, I still get depressed and slightly anxious at times, but it’s nothing compared to what was happening before. I didn’t really want to be on meds, but honestly, it’s a small price to pay for your sanity (and the sanity of your fiance).
That’s just a general recap of what’s been going on lately. I haven’t abandoned the internet completely, just found that life is taking over all of my time right now.