This is the end

When I got engaged, I thought, “Oh! How wonderful! I’ll be married AND I’ll have a lot to post about along the way!” Well, I didn’t think that right away, but you get my drift.

Turns out, that hasn’t been the case. I’ve been so busy with, well, life, that I haven’t been able to keep this blog up-to-date. I’m really sorry about that, those of you who still read here. I used to use this blog as a way of keeping up with people. What is my friend who works less than a mile from me thinking about today? Let’s not ask her, let’s just read her blog. I thought I was doing great with that set-up, being all in-the-know and whatnot. Then I realized that it was actually more fun to see my friends in the flesh. And isn’t that how you’re supposed to keep up with your friends?

And THEN I remembered that when I would try to post things that were utterly honest, I would fret over what others thought or said. The anxiety I felt over the post last March concerning my lack of religious faith affected me more than I’ve let on to most people. Why should I have felt that way? It’s my blog, my belief, my right to say what I want. But for some reason, the fact that others thought I had come to the decision lightly or hadn’t made the right choice didn’t roll of my back as easily as I would have liked. (I’ve come to more of a definite conclusion than I had then, but I still think I’m better off not posting about it anymore.)

It was at that exact moment that I started to think that maybe having a blog wasn’t for me. I don’t like arguments or confrontation. I worry about debating issues, because I lose my words in emotions. It doesn’t mean I don’t have a good reason for feeling the way I do, it just means I clam up when I try to express those reasons. From what I can see, successful bloggers don’t have this problem. Or they steer clear of hot button issues because they actually have a way of turning mundane life occurrences into great stories. I don’t really have that talent either.

Yesterday, I followed a link to Why I shut down my blog. And after I read it, I seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Because she put into words what I’ve been thinking about for almost a year. This blog has become a chore for me. Even now, as I’m writing, I’m putting off work. If I would have written this post last night, I would have been putting off dinner or sleeping. There isn’t a time anymore when I think that I’d really like to post something. Sure, there are random jokes or funny pictures, but honestly, I can just pass those along in an attempt to clog up my friends’ email accounts.

I guess the whole point of this post is to say that while I’m not giving up on blogging entirely, I’m saying goodbye for now. I’m busy, I’m tired, and I just don’t have the motivation for this anymore. I think my time would be better spent doing other things.

This, of course, doesn’t mean I won’t still be reading blogs. Oh, I will. Google Reader and I have a date every day. Several dates if I’m lucky. And I’ll try to keep this blog around just in case I get the inkling to post something. Keep me on your reader, if you’ve got one.

I’ve had fun doing this, and I hope you’ve had fun reading.

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3 Responses

  1. I let out a groan of dispair when I realized where you were going in this post. But I do understand about it feeling like chore, though. That’s why I decided to post a B.W.O. (Blogging Without Obligatioin) icon on mine, I guess just giving myself permission to only post when I feel like it. When I started and named my blog *Ms Judy’s House of Fun* my life was so different. So much more fun. But I know what you mean about baring your soul … for me, I have not put my grief out there in my blog like I could have .. it is really upsets people. They worry about me and suggest ways I could fix myself … therapy, drugs, etc. All I was wanting was to just talk about it, feel it, and get through it … that’s what grieving is like. So .. I make a point of keeping things light. Posting fun things that I’d share with readers who are friends and family …. like the photo with Andrew and Monica when they visited so you and others of that era can see it. I do have a secret blog to spill my guts but still don’t really do that … what if someone found it and wanted to argue with me about my beliefs … see? I get you! LOL I’ll miss your blog. It’s the first one I check each day. I hope you’ll post sometimes to give me a glimpse since I’m not one that gets to visit with you in person or send me a newsy email if you get a chance! I’ll be counting on seeing your comments. See you at the wedding!

  2. I’ll miss your blog, but I understand. I’ve tried several times to start my own and it just never works out. Oh well. Best of luck and I’ll check back occasionally just in case… 🙂

    Jo

  3. I, too, will miss it. I’m not sure if I’ve ever even commented here, but I stop by when I get the chance. I completely understand why you’d want to stop blogging, though, and certainly respect that decision. Maybe you’ll get the urges and cravings to blog again someday, but it’s so much more fun to do it without pressure and concern, so if it never returns, then so be it….at least you’re happier without the extra stress from something that was intended to be stress-free. Good luck with the real world….I hear that it’s really fun. 😉

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