Yes, I look young, thank you

I’m 25. Yes, I know I look 18. No, I’m not happy to hear that. Yes, I know I’ll be happy when I’m 30 or 40 and I look like I’m in my 20s. Yes, I know I should be thankful. Here’s the rub, though. People who don’t know me treat me like I’m 18. And if you’re 25 you don’t want to be treated like you’re 18 anymore. Because you’ve already gone through that phase of your life. And you want the teeny bit of respect that being an adult should give a person.

I know I’ve written about this before, and I know I should be getting over it by now, but it still gets under my skin and makes me so angry I could spit (don’t you just love that phrase, by the way?). I don’t care if you think I should be happy to look young. Do you care if I think you should keep your opinions to yourself? Probably not, huh?

I’ve been getting this more lately. I think it might be the longer hair. I’d like to get it cut again; one last hurrah before I grow it out for the wedding. Sadly, though, I don’t think I can afford that right now. I don’t necessarily want to cake on the makeup in the hopes that I’ll look older. I think I’ll just look like a tart. Or like I’m trying too hard.

I think I should start a support group for people who look young and aren’t necessarily happy about it right now but might be happy about it later. Any takers?


A new blog!

Hey all,

My friend Kim has joined the billions of us with a blog. Let’s all give her a warm welcome! *applause*

Her blog is Saxophonin’ Gnome. The name is explained in the first post.

I’ve already left the very first comment, but please feel free to join me over there.


Yellow Turtle

Austin City Limits Music Festival

Herein lies my account of a rather hot and sort of frustrating but nonetheless memorable ACL festival. Enter at your own risk.

All photos can be found on my Flickr page, under “ACL”. That bunch also has some shots from last year. Once I start paying for Flickr, I’ll be able to make some more sets and be better organized.

Friday –

After a propane tank blew up in the early afternoon, the festival become quite tough to get into. So tough, in fact, that it took us a full hour to make it through the gates. We were forced to listen to Blonde Redhead, which made it even worse for us (I know some like this band, and I hope you understand that they just aren’t my cup of tea. Plus their sound wasn’t great. At least, I assume it was the sound system’s fault…).

LCD Soundsystem

Started off with LCD Soundsystem. We only heard a few of their songs, since we had planned to trek it over to see Spoon, who started right after LCD. I wish we could have had more time at LCD Soundsystem, because they were in the middle of a rockin’ set when we left.

Spoon Balloon

I have a few more pictures of Spoon, but I like this picture of the balloon. I’ve seen Spoon several times (this fest appearance made it four or five), and they’ve been better. I don’t have their new album, so I was one of the kids waiting for some old songs. Their performance of “Fitted Shirt” was great, but I honestly don’t remember being blown away by any other songs. Sorry guys.


Again, I have a few more (blurry) pictures of the Bjork show, but I like the lasers in this one. We only stayed for a few of her songs because honestly, if you’re not a fan, everything sounds the same after a while. She’s got a great voice, horrible but entertaining fashion sense, and a stage show that impresses. I dig her videos more than that concert, but again, I’m not a huge fan or anything. Bottom line – I’m glad I can say that I saw Bjork.

Saturday –

Dr. Dog

I should have cropped this photo. Oh well. We started the day early by seeing Dr. Dog, one of my current loves (get their CD people!). I think their sound could have been a tad better, and it was really hot (they started at 12:30). I think these two things prevented me from absolutely loving their set, but I enjoyed them anyway. Their enthusiasm was great; you could tell they were happy to be there.


After Dr. Dog we huddled under a tree for shade and rest. From there we listened to some of Augustana’s set. Can’t say I was too impressed. I mean, I got bored enough to take these pictures:




I should explain the pinatas. See, the crowds at ACL are growing every year. And if you’re not a incredibly tall, you’ll have a hard time finding your friends. So we came up with an extendable pole (marketed as a light bulb changing pole) and these pinatas. When we needed to locate each other, up went the pinatas. Worked like a charm. Worked so well, in fact, that others used our pinatas as markers. Kim’s was Elmo, and mine was…well…he was a football ref until Jared drew Salvador Dali-esque eyebrows and mustache on his face. Then he just became an angry-looking Frenchman.

Cold War Kids

From there it was on to the Cold War Kids. Rather disappointing set for me. The lead singer’s (doesn’t he look like he belongs on Wall Street?) voice got very tiring.

Arctic Monkeys

We got a spot at the AMD stage in preparation for Arcade Fire, and caught the Arctic Monkeys set. Way too loud but great show regardless. Actually had to put in some ear plugs, as the speakers were pointing right at my ear drums.


From the spot at the AMD stage we were able to hear (and blurrily see) Clap Your Hands Say Yeah. We saw this band at Stubb’s a few months back, and their show then was much better. Still, they sounded pretty good and I was sad that I wasn’t any closer.

Arcade Fire

Arcade Fire. I love love love this band, and they didn’t disappoint me this year. Their stage show was entertaining (the red lights form a Neon Bible, the title of their new album) and they sounded amazing. They seemed truly happy to be back at ACL, and we all showered them with love by singing along to every song. If you like this band and haven’t seen them live, you’re crazy. Do it now.

Sunday –


Got off to a late start with Lucinda Williams. I only caught the tail end of her show, and the crowd seemed to be having a great time. She sounded pretty good–when I walked up she was singing “Riders on the Storm”–but when she started talking religion and politics she lost my interest a bit. I’d rather hear you people sing, not talk about your personal beliefs.


Wilco. Along with Arcade Fire, this band made my ticket price worth every penny. I’ve fallen in love with Wilco over the past three years, and I’ve seen them three times. This was by far the best show I’ve been to, and it could have been due to the fact that I was in the second row:

Wilco again

What I love most about this band’s live show is that they just come out and play music. That’s it. No lasers, no fancy screens–not that I don’t like those. For some bands those things work. Wilco doesn’t use them, and I’m glad. It’s refreshing to see a show that’s all about the music. Jeff Tweedy was in a particularly good mood this time, which just made everything better.

Ghostland Observatory

Only saw a little of Ghostland Observatory, but in hindsight I should have stayed for the whole set. They were kickin’ some ass that night, and leaving them for The Decemberists made me sad. I’ll catch them when they come through again.


From what I could hear of The Decemberists, they sounded pretty good. The crowd was into them, but I think most of the people towards the back were waiting for Dylan (their stages were close together). I don’t have any of their stuff (I’d like to remedy that), but they really didn’t pull me in like Ghostland did.


This was how close I got for Dylan. I probably could have gotten closer, but oh well. From where I was, you could barely hear the music. What you could hear of Bob’s voice was awful, so I didn’t stay long. Granted, there are some that say he’s never sounded great, but I’d beg to differ. I agree that he’s more songwriter than singer, but for the most part I dig his voice. I just couldn’t get into it here. Oh well. At least I can say I was in the same mile radius as Bob Dylan. Whoo!


So overall, ACL was a success this year. I had fun, and got to see some great performances. I probably would have done some things differently (stayed for all of LCD Soundsystem, stayed for Ghostland Observatory), but I was glad I got what I did out of my ticket. I don’t know how many more years I’ve got in me, but I still think this is all worth it.


Very nice.

Oh life

I’ll just dive right into this: I think starting college brought out things that had been brewing for some time, and it really became a norm that I would sink into a depression around the same time every month–yeah, that time. The week before the period time. (Sorry, male readers) It got bad enough that I began taking medicine specifically for severe depression during PMS. Then I found a boyfriend, was cast in some plays, and suddenly I felt like I didn’t need the medicine anymore. And some months, I didn’t. But most months just found me denying the fact that I was so depressed.

I think that depression has stuck with me, but some months find me in situations where I’m able to control the thoughts and feelings a bit better. I could be spending more time with the fiance, with friends, having a good run at work, etc. Some months, like this one, find me with an injured eye, tough allergies, no energy, and the will to do nothing and go nowhere. I want nothing to do with my normal routines, and I become suspicious of everyone around me. As in, why would they want to hang out with me? They’re probably trying to think of ways to get out of seeing me. I’m glad that I’m coherent enough through these times to know that that’s a big lie, but it’s still hard to not think those thoughts. And thinking those thoughts is hard to deal with.

I’m not sure if I want to go back to taking a drug to help alleviate these sore spots…or if I should think about going to counseling…or if I should just suck it up and deal with it (my father’s favorite phrase). I don’t know what it is that bothers me, and every other week of the month I’m relatively fine…happy, even.

What’s the point of this post? Not much. Just wanted to talk about this I guess. I feel a little self-indulgent talking about this with the people in my life, because I also become paranoid that I’m a burden to everyone around me. So thanks for letting me talk, internet.

I’m alive

I’ve got a lot to say about this past weekend, but I’m at work right now and all of my pictures are at home. So that post will have to wait.

In lieu, I’ll copy and paste something two of my friends did.


Look at the list of books below. Bold the ones you’ve read. Italicize the ones you want to read. Leave blank the ones that you aren’t interested in. (I’ve also added comments in parenthesis.)

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown) (Ugh. Movie’s worse, if you can believe it. And I only saw 30 minutes of it.)
2. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
3. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
4. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
5. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
8. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
9. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
10. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
11. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
12. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25 . Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks) (Ugh again)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible (I’ve read as much as one does for Sunday school and confirmation, but not much more)
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck) (isn’t this one of those classics everyone should read?)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky) (never gonna happen)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving) (seen the movie–does that count?)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)(can’t remember for the life of me if I’ve actually read this or just seen the old movie too many times)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down(Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

I probably won’t read another book until after the wedding, and after that I will have seemingly thousands of books at my disposal (Jared reads a lot, as do most MFA students).

Tugging at heartstrings

I’d like to share this story, Shelter in the Rain. In case you’re not up on the Capital Metro news here in Austin, there is a particular bus stop by the Dell Children’s Medical Center that doesn’t have any kind of official shelter available for those waiting. These two men in the article went out this morning (in the pouring rain) to erect a makeshift shelter for those that have to wait at that stop.

Here’s a video link, which I hope works.

On a day with many planned memorials that can sometimes seem like they’re trying to elicit tears, this story, in my eyes…well…I like it.