Another choice

Hi all, it’s me again. I’ve decided that since my previous post about a belief I have has drawn such attention, I’ll go ahead and talk about another choice I’ve made with my life. Please accept what I have to say as only what I believe, not what I’m saying you should believe.

I’ve chosen blue as my favorite color. I know, I know. Lots of people like green, and I understand that. I think green is a necessary part of our reality (as all colors are). The grass is green, trees are green, the light at the intersection that tells me I can go is green. I even understand why others would choose green as their favorite color. I just have to say that I don’t believe green is the color for me. Blue is.

I know what some might say: I’ll probably be happier in life if I choose green as my favorite color. I don’t know about that. Maybe. But blue is what I like, what I understand, what I feel in my bones to be the right choice for me. Nobody’s proven to me that blue is better, I just think it’s better for me. I don’t think I know exactly how to explain why I’ve chosen blue to those that don’t understand my choice. I’ll try, because while I don’t think I should have to defend my choice, I can certainly see why someone would want to know more about why I’ve chosen blue. I’m equally as interested in why others have chosen their favorite colors, but I won’t make them defend themselves. They’re smart enough to make their own decisions.

Some might also say that by saying “Blue is my choice as my favorite color,” I’m actually saying, “Green is not a good choice for a favorite color.” Or even worse, “There is no way green can exist as a favorite color.” I am here to tell you that that is incorrect. I don’t agree with those that will decorate their lives with green, but I respect their choice. I would only expect that they would accept my choice to surround myself with blue. They don’t have to agree, but they should respect me. After all, aren’t we free to make our own choices on our own terms?

I’ve looked at different colors, but none have ever really spoken to me like blue has. Green came close for a few years, especially when I was younger. But as I grew up, I realized that I personally identified more with blue. So after many, many years of thinking about it and consulting others with different favorite color choices, I’ve decided to go with blue. I will continue to study other colors, and in the future I may just change my choice. We’ll see.

I hope this doesn’t offend anyone or make them look down on me. I realize I’m not going with the majority of the world by choosing blue, but that really doesn’t matter to me. I am who I am, and if you are my friend I hope that you accept that I’ve chosen blue and we can move on.

Thanks for reading again. If you’ve got a different favorite color and want to talk about it, please comment. Know that I accept all color choices here, even pink, a color which I personally can’t stand. Yes, even pink choices are welcome here. My blue arms are wide open.

Seriously

This gets cuter every time I watch it.

A note on respect

I have a friend (her temporary blog can be found here while her permanent blog is down) who is, in many ways, the opposite of me. She’s naturally skinnier than me (you are!), is a bit more conservative in her politics, and has a very strong belief in God. It’s more than very strong, but I’m not sure how else to put it–working on little sleep right now.

She read my previous post and we had an itty bitty discussion on the topic. She wants to better understand where I’m coming from, and wants to have a dialogue about it. I don’t feel that I fully understand her side, so I think it would be a good thing for me to discuss this with her as well.

To be honest, I was a bit nervous about what she and another friend of mine would think about my previous post. But I shouldn’t be. Aforementioned friend has expressed herself to me without attacking, and I reciprocated with not trying to attack her.

Basically, our respect for each other runs quite deep. Deep enough for us to know that we need to respect each other’s differing opinions, even if we might end up thinking the other person will never understand ours. Who knows? We may not. We may come to understand, yet still disagree. In any case, I’m quite certain that we will remain friends throughout, because we have respect for each other.

Now imagine if we all respected everyone else. What kind of world would this be? A good one, right? We should all work on that…

A post is missing!

But only because I took it down. In my previous post I stated that I have begun to come to terms with the fact that by general definition, I am something of an atheist. Tonight I spoke with some friends about this whole thing further, and one friend (hey roomie!) sent me a link to a blog that includes one explanation of other possible beliefs. The post is titled Atheism is So Misunderstood, and I think it has some good points.

Belief or disbelief in a god cannot be a black or white decision anymore. Maybe in the Dark Ages that could be said, but these days we have made so many advances in science that it is plausible for one to think that nothing about this subject can be proven beyond a doubt. A person cannot prove that God exists or vice versa, because there will always be something that will disprove it.

In case you’re too busy read the linked post, allow me to include an explanation of four possible ideas of belief:

“Agnostic Theism: belief in a god without claiming to know for sure that the god exists.

Gnostic Theism: belief in a god while being certain that this god exists.

Agnostic Atheism: disbelief in gods without claiming to know for sure that none exist.

Gnostic Atheism: disbelief in gods while being certain that none (can or do) exist.”

While you may not agree that these are good definitions, I’d be willing to bet that you can fit into one of those catagories.

According to this, I would fall into the Agnostic Atheism. Which I feel fits me better than simply saying “Athiest.” I don’t think I can know if there is a higher being, but I can’t know if there isn’t either. I choose not to belive in a god because I find the reasons to not belive to be more sound to me. But again, I don’t know for sure. How can anyone?

The other friend involved in the discussion tonight thinks that human nature forces humans to have to worship something, and in most atheists (not all, he was quick to say) that turns into themselves. This could be true of some. I think that sometimes this can be a true of some extreme theists as well, since they think of themselves as being much better than non-believers (or believers of a different religion). But I wonder if we’re all programmed to have to worship something. Maybe so. If I were forced to think of something I thought I worshipped right now, it’d probably be the planet we’re living on. Mainly because we wouldn’t be here if this planet wasn’t here. And have you watched the Discovery Channel? There is some awesome shit on this planet. Yet I don’t know for sure how this planet got here. So my worshipping would end there.

In my overanalytical ways I’ve let this thought ramble on too long. I’ve discussed it with people and found that at this point I am choosing not to believe while acknowledging that there’s no way to know. I told a friend earlier that I need to become comfortable saying these things out loud instead of just thinking about them all the time. So here I am. I promise that I won’t continue this and that my next post will be decidedly lighter in feeling.

Thanks for reading and letting me ramble. Please don’t be scared away by the topic; if you’ve got a comment, comment away!

A selfish post

My brother, the middle one, is coming to Austin tonight with his wife. The main reason for their trip is to buy a car, but the great thing is that they’ll get to see my house (finally!) and take me out to dinner. Well, we’ll all go to dinner together. Hopefully they’ll pay, but one can’t beg.

My immediate (and some extended) family lives an hour and a half away, all down one country road. The same road my mother grew up on (mostly). It’s a family thing, living down this road. Both of my older brothers ended up building houses within a mile of our parents’ house. I’m actually a bit jealous of them, because that road has one of the best support systems anyone can find. But the big city called me, and now I’m in Austin, 90 minutes away.

My brothers are both considerably older than me. The oldest is 15 years older, and the middle one is 8 years older. Growing up I can barely remember playing with my oldest brother, and my middle brother certainly didn’t want much to do with me once he got into high school and started dating. I do have some good memories with him though, like when he gave me a lot of baseball cards FOR NO REASON AT ALL. Or when we would always play War with Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Cards during our yearly summer vacation to Galveston. I loved those cards. And those bunk beds in the hotel.

Seeing as they are so much older though, they’ve moved on to building their own families, each with kids and animals and all that great stuff. I’m lucky, because I was able to be an aunt to several of them long enough for them to be able to remember me later. Now that I’m older and living my own life, it’s gotten harder to keep up with everyone; especially the newest additions to the family. It’s also hard to relate to my brothers. And hard to see them in an environment that isn’t the family road.

So anyway, this is why I’m posting a selfish “hey! look at me!” blog; because I’ll get to see two members of my family and they’ll get to see my house and we’ll get to go to dinner and I hope their plans don’t fall through now that I’ve posted this. I’d better clean up when I get home.

Anyone else have odd family situations?

“How to Tell Jesus from the Antichrist”

Read this, and you shall know.

I don’t like basketball, but…

this is awesome.