On Farting

Yeah, I do it. I sneak it in when necessary, like when my stomach hurts and that’s the only cure. I also relish in it, especially when I know it’ll be funny (that’s usually only with Jared) or when I know I’m going to feel so much skinnier after it. To be true, I like it.

Here’s the thing though. I also fart in my sleep. Yeah, when I have no control over when it’s coming out. I hate that. I want to know when it’s going to happen so that I can prepare. I don’t know exactly how everyone else prepares for the fart, but I usually try to move to let things happen naturally. Or I try to move to muffle it or let it escape more freely (so it’s hopefully quieter). Yeah, it’s a little silly, but it’s what I do.

Jared apparently doesn’t mind the farting in bed. We had a conversation about it last night, because I was afraid that while he was close to me I would fart on his leg or something, and I didn’t want that to gross him out. Of course he’s not grossed out, as I should have known, and if I remember correctly we even talked about him making sure to fart on me too. Did we say that Jared? Or was I dreaming?

Regardless, the whole point of this post is that I know I’m marrying the right man come next year, because he doesn’t care if I happen to fart in his general direction. And I could care less if he does the same to me. If that isn’t true love, I don’t know what is.


6 Responses

  1. This is quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve read all week…

  2. I thank you.

  3. This is the game of “Hot Toaster”:

    While Jared (or anyone else for that matter) is unsuspectingly laying in bed next to you, grab the blanket and pull it up over both your heads.

    Let it rip.

    First one to come up for fresh air loses.

  4. Dominic – This game is awesome and will be played.

  5. Hot Toaster! I’ve always known it as Dutch Oven, whereas my boyfriend counters that it is called Covered Wagon!

  6. Leigh – Ha! I’m not sure which name I like best; they’re all very appropriate.

    Thanks for stopping by!

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